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 A Scene....

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Juliet
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PostSubject: A Scene....   Fri Apr 16, 2010 7:07 pm

( A post I made in Writersbeat, I'm JayEnn there )

Just a little dialogue that I've made while thinking of something to do :



“Don’t tell me you like me Cindy. You shouldn’t. I’m the worst guy ever and I promise you, you won’t enjoy your life with me.”

“Okay?”

“I’m a certified womanizer wherever I go and I date lots of women, hot and tempting women.”

“U-huh?”

“I’m criticizing you there.”

“I know, obviously.”

“Look, Cindy, we’re just not… meant to be.”

“And how did you know without trying it out?”

“I just know.”

“Then courts will be useless if those kinds of reasons are acceptable.”

“We’re not in a trial court or something like that.”

“I just used the court as an example.”

“Cin-“

“Stop it. What’s wrong with it? I love you even If you’re a freaking idiot sometimes. Atleast be grateful that you’re lucky enough to make a girl fall seriously in love with you... I know it's all of a sudden but, do you love me?”

“I don’t.”

“Oh... seriously?”

“Well… not really... I do.”

“See?”

“I’m just not, you know, not ready for a serious relationship.”

"Then better be ready today, Fred."


Thanks for reading.


Last edited by Juliet on Fri Apr 16, 2010 10:11 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : typo)
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Zeldisaster

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PostSubject: Re: A Scene....   Fri Apr 16, 2010 8:40 pm

Touching... though I'd recommend naming him something besides Fred. Lol. The scene is gorgeous, but the name threw it off-balance in my mind.

You gotta name people with that spirit and attitude something romantic in itself, passionate... like Buck. Lmao jk.

Try something softer, like maybe Johnathon or something... Yusuke is a popular japanese name, if you wanna go with that instead.
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Juliet
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PostSubject: Re: A Scene....   Fri Apr 16, 2010 10:06 pm

Lol, thanks! I'm gonna go think of another name, hahaha.
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M!cH@3l 001

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PostSubject: Re: A Scene....   Sat Apr 17, 2010 5:12 am

Yeah fred is kinda of an odd name fore that type of dialogue Laughing but that was a pretty cool story Smile the only thing i think it needs is you need to color the lettering so we can see who's talking and who's not. like make one person a color and make another person a different color Smile but i did like your story good job Smile
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